kadri otsiver

‘Monologues’ is a documentation of a personal realm greatly transformed by the outburst of Coronavirus. More precisely, it visualises intense monologues that were enforced by the constrained circumstances and lack of human contact.

I fled from Cardiff to Estonia in March 2020 and moved to live to an isolated forest house, close to Lahemaa national park that has belonged to my family for generations. It was a rapid transformation, during which I had to make peace with losing the photographic community I had formed throughout the years, and with the idea of not moving to London as long organised - a life following a plan became planless. This new enforced reality combined with restricted movement, and scarce human encounters was a source for intense monologues; cheerful at times, and bitter at others.

The space didn’t present any clues of the virus - the forest lived its own life and fields alike. With conditions like these, it is easy to forget the realm outside and lose oneself to inner space, unless the TV, radio, and Internet are switched on; and as much as I was missing my past and felt concerned about the future, another paradigm made a strong presence - the one concerned with memory. I connected with the landscape my ancestors inhabited and learned about the objects they possessed, from grandma’s embroideries to mothers left-over soviet fabrics.

The resulting imagery combines different narratives and fuses elements of ‘reality’ and ‘fiction’. There is no beginning, nor an end, as it rejects the traditional linear timeline or boundaries of countries. By simultaneously operating in the past, present, and future it presents a personal struggle involving conflicting feelings and moments of confusion, and means through which one manages to cope with such rapid changes. ‘Monologues’ is about letting go the old world, embracing the new one, and finding my place within this changed reality - all this through discussions with self. 

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